BlogFun

finally.. i’m at the starting line for my final project!

i’m so excited but at the same time i’m also afraid that i can’t finish this thing on time..

(well, better get going)

yak, dikarenakan saya terlalu pengecut untuk menulis unek unek saya yang ini di fb, saya jadi ngeluarinnya di sini (karena teman teman sekelas saya gak ada yang tau web ini)

cerita bermula dari seperti yang anda tahu di post post saya sebelumnya, tentang saya menyukai seorang gadis.

tapi hari ini, mindset saya sudah tidak akan berubah lagi, saya tidak akan memikirkan yang namanya pacaran, atau apapun namanya yang bisa mengusir kesepian saya ( i like being alone). mulai sekarang saya hanya akan memfokuskan otak saya untuk kuliah + main gitar TITIK, gak ada yang lain.

anda tau kenapa? karena sang gadis (kayak lagunya benyamin, sang kodok) itu ternyata udah benar benar gak mau ngertiin perasaan saya. ya, saya tau dia memang banyak yang suka, tapi apakah sampai segitunya?

kemarin saat tanggal 31 desember, ia meminta saya untuk mengantarkannya ke travel, karena ia ingin pergi ke jakarta untuk ‘tahun baruan’ bersama keluarganya. saya sudah standby di kostannya dari jam 6 pagi, dan akhirnya dia pergi dengan selamat dengan travel cipaganti yang berangkat jam 11 siang. dalam hati tentu saja saya senang, ” ah dia minta dianterin buat ngasih kesempatan kedua kali ya? “. tapi ternyata pemirsa pemirsa, dia waktu itu sudah berbohong kepada saya, dia ternyata mau pergi ke tempat ‘pujaan hatinya’ dan tahun baruan juga bersama ‘pujaan hatinya’. saya baru tahu hal ini tadi siang, karena temennya ada yang keceplosan ngomong itu ke saya. pada saat tahu soal hal itu, saya benar benar merasa “GOBLOK” karena mau maunya nganterin orang yang benar benar saya cinta setulus hati itu ke orang yang sedang disukainya dan mereka tahun baruan di jakarta……

mungkin kalau diibaratkan lagu, mungkin saya mirip lagunya bruno mars yang judulnya grenade

“i’d cacth a grenade for ya

throw my hand on a blade for ya

i’d jump in front of a train for ya

you know i’d do anything for ya

i would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain

yes i would die for you baby, BUT YOU WON’T DO THE SAME” (apa hidup saya juga harus berakhir kayak di video klipnya? hehe i don’t think so)

sekian tulisan sakit hati saya kali ini, see you next time dengan tragedi sakit hati dari seorang I*F*N* A*I*F

Well, this is not something really big to tell all of you ‘internet users’. But i somehow get the urge to tell this to the whole world…

Sometimes, i feel that life is unfair. That is  because no matter how hard i tried, i just can’t get enough happiness. What? don’t stare at me like that, imagine you(readers) yourself in my condition. My parents is as old as a retired office person, but he must still work. Why? because my older brothers (aside from my nearest in age brother) didn’t do anything to lift the heavy burden that my father has been carrying all along. Which is why, it is my responsibility to graduate from campus faster and find a job fast!

You think that’s all there is to my problem? no no no.. you’re wrong. i have other problems, the second problem is that my campus friends always think of me as a ‘walking computer’ that will do their homework for them even when i haven’t finished the homework myself. this is why i don’t have many friends in this campus, because i won’t befriend someone that only befriends me when they need it. And, there is another problem in this campus like i have been posted in the previous posts. The system is somewhat messed up and i feel like i’m walking in circles and didn’t go anywhere further than where i have been after my high school graduate.

After all that, you think that’s all? oo… you can’t be more wrong. There is still the third problem, my love life. In this campus, i finally met someone whom i didn’t bother to be besides me all the time. My self esteem became high when i know that she once stated that i’m handsome/cool/something like that. I know this from her best friends who tells me when she was gone to some meeting. I really want to tell her everything about my heart, but alas. Her friends tell her that i like her, and the next night she asks me through the cellphone whether i like her or not. What else could i say, of course i said i love her…. But do you know what she said? she said ‘i acknowledge you as a friend, nothing more’ and don’t even listen to as why i love her, how much i love her, etc. After that, i feel that i’m slowly going crazy day by day…. Because she still remains near me (she’s one of my best friends in this campus that i hang out with) and she still talk to me as if nothing happens… I finally come to the decision that it’s okay to be "just friends" as long as i can see her smile, i can hear her talk, i can say something that she listened to, and…… i… can …. be…. near…..her…too….

well that’s it, i know this is not as bad as other people situation out there, but i just feel like writing it to my blog. so, sorry if this blog have made you waste 15 minutes of your life. Thanks for reading.

it’s the very first time in my life…. i’ve ever felt this strange…

when i’m not near her, i feel so lonely even when the world surrounds me…

but when i’m near her, i can barely speak a word.…… i can’t act like i usually do….

 but now, after considering all facts, i’ll be better off if i don’t try any harder to get to her….

i’ve seen how perfect, how handsome, how kind the guys that go out with her… i don’t even have one thing that i’m better than those guys….

(well, i’m only smarter but that’s another case)

i’m not handsome, i’m not kind, i can’t even talk to her like normal.. (i even think she’s not happy when i’m near her)

there’s also some "custom’s" reason that i can’t be with her…

so, after realizing all of this, it’s better if i just forget about it, and just burry this empty heart deep down inside my sanity while i’m not crazy yet…

funny,

that’s how i represent the class that i’m in..

they don’t seem to fell the urge to learn what they came to this campus to learn for.. in fact, they just go around and have some fun while they’re in bandung.

i sometimes wonder, did they even have a plan of what they’re going to do in the future? what kind of work will they get? how will they make a living for their family? how can they live when their parents can’t take care of them anymore?

it frustrates me to know that there’s only a little portion of people in my class that really want to learn something here and use it to build their future(well,that’s why people go to college for normally, right?) 

well.. when i think about it, that’s their problem, not mine. so i won’t try to do anything to change it, i won’t even bother to persuade them to be serious about their studies. 

yaaay…. i’ve finally ordered some glasses, the clerk said that it will be finished tomorrow morning. at first, i’m a little confused because she asked, "what kind of frame do you like?". i have absolutely no idea what kind of frame i would like to buy, so i tried them all. from the big metal frame, until the light plastic frame. after that, i finally settle with one that has a plastic frame and a hanging lens. after that, the clerk makes me confused once again by asking "what do you want for the lens? is it a plastic one? or a glass one?" ??? so glasses also have a kind that uses plastic for it’s lens??? i don’t know! then after the clerk explained to me the difference in both of them, i finally chose the plastic one, because it’s cheaper, have multiple layer of coating(for anti-uv,radiation,glare), and lighter than the glass one. i really can’t wait for tomorrow when i will finally got my first pair of glasses! see ya!

yaaay…. i’ve finally ordered some glasses, the clerk said that it will be finished tomorrow morning.
at first, i’m a little confused because she asked, “what kind of frame do you like?”. i have absolutely no idea what kind of frame i would like to buy, so i tried them all. from the big metal frame, until the light plastic frame. after that, i finally settle with one that has a plastic frame and a hanging lens.

after that, clerk makes me confused once again by asking “what do you want for the lens? is it a plastic one? or a glass one?”
??? so glasses also have a kind that uses plastic for it’s lens??? i don’t know!
then after the clerk explained to me the difference in both of them, i finally chose the plastic one, because it’s cheaper, have multiple layer of coating(for anti-uv,radiation,glare), and more light than the glass one.

i really can’t wait for tomorrow when i will finally got my first pair of glasses!
see ya!

okay, just been from the eye specialist doctor and got my eyes checked.

the result? not too far from what i’ve predicted, really. my right eye is -1,75 and my left eye is -2.00 also, i got a silinder on my left eye by 0.5(fiuhhh….). next week, i’m planning to come home once again to begin my search of glasses. wonder what type of glasses that will fit my images? is it the thick plastic one? or, the slim metallic one? well, keep your guess folk! until we all see what kind of glasses do i decide next week.

so, stay tuned!!!

(i’m thinking about uploading my photo with glasses to this blog later)

SDLC!!!!

RAD!!!!!

PROTOTYPE!!!!!

That’s all there is to this semester (with a little bit of coding, of course)

 I personally thought that it’s a good idea to teach us about it, but i will really apreciate it if the instructor realized the common mistake that present itself in all level of education in indonesia.

 LACK OF PRACTICAL DEMONSTRATION!!! (from this point onward, i’m going to refer to it as LPD)

yeah, sure, i can write code in java, c++, web, etc. but that’s because i’ve been through the "trial and error" phase. 

That’s the problem is with  LPD, the instructor give us tons of theory, and he/she keeps on explaining, eventhough we don’t even get what she/he means to explain.

The only way out (according to me, of course), is to give us MORE some mock up/simulation about each step, so we can actually use it in real life.

So, get together all boys and girls, and let’s change this messed up system… ok?

just another day, with the big grin on the sun’s face… but not on mine

today, i just have to say, "that does it!"  i just can take this anymore, i have enough of this wrecthed sight of mine. then i think to myself, well, i do need a pair of glasses to keep up with my studying….